thirty things i learned at Pak Con I

  	              by Ayaz Ahmed Khan
	               25 December 2004


	       ``gr33tz fly out to all the g00ns.''
                 --------------------------------


  0.  A cup of coffee can be so expensive at Pearl Continental.
  1.  Keep a gas mask throughout the night spent with other goons --
      damn these people, they smoke more than they breathe.
  2.  Don't depend on room service -- you'll die of wait.
  3.  The folks running Pearl Continental call power extension cords
      "adapters".
  4.  Pearl Continental's Wireless network is running on Windows OSs.
  5.  Cable TVs at Pearl Continental rooms broadcast 86 channels and
      none, and I repeat none, of them are X-rated channels.
  6.  They don't have female waitresses at Pearl Continental.
  7.  Don't *ever* leave exploits public on your server machine in the
      CTF contest -- hardly five minutes had passed, and our
      good-for-nothing server got rooted.
  8.  Quad-processor server machines are a major pain in the ass and
      not to mention completely worthless -- we ended up running our
      server on a workstation.
  9.  64-bit AMD server, my ass.
  10.  The flat-panel TV in the lobby only broadcasts Ten Sports.  
  11.  They don't have tubelights in the rooms, only three dman
       bedside lamps.
  12.  There are exactly 6 power sockets in a room, four of which are
       used by the three lamps and the TV, one is dead, and the other
       is available for everyone to poke their fingers at.
  13.  According to government regulations, alcohol is available only
       after 2100 hours.  Wee!  Wonder how much a bottle of vodka would cause?
  14.  Never /ever/ try to speak at Pak Con without studying the topic
       to speak on beforehand -- the embarrasment will kill you.
  15.  No matter how good you speak and how interesting your topic is,
       some bastard will always be laughing and making grotesque faces
       at the back.
  16.  If you see an old man with a beard and wearing a coat
       approaching you, run, disappear, just don't let him catch you.
  17.  Kamran is a chain smoker.
  18.  No matter what Mussarat and Mashallah Khan say, you /cannot/
       decrypt a password hash and retrieve the password.
  19.  admin admin -- says it all.
  20.  Pearl Continental purchase their Internet Connectivity from
       multinet.
  21.  Don't shout when there's a briefing going on at the other end
       of the hall -- otherwise, you'll have to confront Kamran.
  22.  Faraz works really really hard, no matter what you tell him to
       do.
  23.  Faiz wore the same jeans for three days straight.
  24.  To unlock the room door, insert the key with the printed arrow
       side pointing outwards and remove it quickly.
  25.  You're not the only who has a laptop at Pak Con.
  26.  Faiz is the only person who will do anything you ask him to.
  27.  PC's drinking water has an awful taste.
  28.  If you haven't slept a minute in more than 30 hours, you cannot
       survive the Geek Party.
  29.  Geek Party == Rave (without the drugs).